Night Weaning and Losses
If you are a regular here, you probably read my post about our unexpected gift around Thanksgiving and maybe…just maybe you have been waiting for some type of update on how things have been progressing. Initially, I contemplated a creative way to share my journey with you all. I knew I didn’t want to vlog about it. I also didn’t really feel up to creating a post every week to chronicle the milestones and growth of the baby as well as my cravings and feelings I had experienced either. So honestly, I started to think that maybe I just want to create a series of pregnancy posts that would help others during their pregnancy. Not necessarily in any specific order, but as I was inspired to write and share. I still look forward to doing this. If you have gotten to know me a bit through my blogging, you are probably now understanding that it’s hard for me to make things all about me even though this is my blog. Perhaps it has to do with my core values where I’m always seeking to put others before me in my every day life. I don’t think my personality should emit anything different through my blogging.
Ok so since we found out we were expecting, I started experiencing a boat load of fatigue and all day sickness all at once. I can remember being sick last time with JR from weeks 7-14, but this queasiness is a bit different. I’m more tired this time around for sure. Chasing after JR on a daily basis might have something to do with that. We also started to night wean our little guy because we want to make sure that by the time the new baby is here, he is used to not breastfeeding at night and is sleeping in his own bed most of the time. I honestly love to still breastfeed and co-sleep with JR, but I realize that co-sleeping with a toddler and a newborn could be dangerous. Also, I know that my nights could be long with nursing a newborn. Knowing that a newborn’s primary nutrition is breast milk for the first year, I definitely don’t want JR to feel jealous because of my nightly nursing sessions with the baby. If he still wants to, I plan to tandem nurse my two nurslings for as long as JR wants to nurse. Night weaning may happen at the one year mark though with baby number 2. With all of my first trimester all day sickness and fatigue, night weaning a toddler right now has been even vitamintillskott more of a struggle some nights. He’s been doing ok. I think overall he understands that after a particular hour he can’t nurse again until the sun comes up.
Another reason why it has been a bit difficult for me to create posts focused around pregnancy is because I have two blogger friends who have experienced miscarriages during their first trimester very recently. Call me crazy, but I guess I just felt like seeing posts about pregnancy when an experience like that is still new might take them back to thinking about their loss. Perhaps I was mourning their losses in my own way, too. I could imagine how I might feel if it happened to me, I could remember how it felt when it did happen to me. I have experienced the loss of a pregnancy in the past…one that I was forced to lose so maybe the feeling they had experienced was similar to what I felt…they wrote about their losses, but I knew that I could never really know so I just wanted to be sensitive to how they could feel if they read a post about a pregnancy that was progressing. I believe one day they both will be expecting again and when they both are, I hope that I still know them so that I can encourage and support them along their journey of growing life within them.
So very sorry for your friends losses and my heart truly goes out to them and understand why you have been hesitant to share your first trimester here. But I will say I totally remember the nausea during both my pregnancies. I had it all day long with both my pregnancies for weeks on end. Hoping you feel better soon from this and thinking of you Brittnei.
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Ugh! All day for the entire pregnancy, Janine?! That sounds terrible! I had it with my son up until week 14 and I'm hoping it ends around the same time with this one too. From talking to my two friends they seem to be doing ok, but I did feel awkward about posting for a while. I think now I'll start to sort of mention things about it. I just didn't want to do the typical vlog or weekly post that says "this week my baby is the size of a kumquat" lol like babycenter or something. I know so many people have done that so I was also trying to be different. I'm hoping for some good pregnancy posts for sure though in the future.
I can certainly understand why you're hesitant to share more about your pregnancy. You're such a great person Brittnei. And I love how you would want to make everything work for both your kids. We'll support you all the way!
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You are so kind to say that, Rea. I really hope his post didn't sound like I was tooting my own horn. I honestly just wanted my readers to know why I wasn't posting more about pregnancy and everything since I seemed so open about it when I posted that we were expecting when I was only 5 weeks along. Plus I was thinking about my two friends…who seem to be doing find by the way. I look forward to sharing details about it all with you guys in the coming weeks!
You're so wonderful and sensitive, Brittnei!
Tandem nursing can be done, and it will be as thoughtful and mutually beneficial to all of you as you want it to be. My sister and I are 22 months apart and it didn't work for my mom for some reason.
It can certainly be done, though!
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Aw, you are so kind to say that, Tamara. I'm going to try tandem nursing if JR wants to continue. I will be sure to blog about the experience to let you all know how it works out
You are so sweet to be sensitive to their feelings Brittnei. What a great friend.
I completely understand not wanting to post all the time about your pregnancy, especially when you aren't feeling good. I remember those days; no fun. But I do hope you post a little. I want to hear more about your experiences the 2nd time around
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No worries, Tiffany! I do plan to post things about it for sure. I just felt like I had to wait a bit for all the reasons I mentioned above. It's nice to know you would be interested in seeing how things work out this time around. I look forward to sharing!
I agree with the other commenters! You are displaying keen awareness of your commenting audience and they will appreciate you for that as do I. I agree with not doing that weekly thing…I mean, even if it was Beyonce, it'd get boring. At least it did for me when I tried to follow some other bloggers doing it.
Joi, it was boring for me when I was reading posts like this as well so I think I said to myself, if I'm bored reading these, my followers might feel the same way if I do it, too. So I'm glad you are speaking up about that so I know I wasn't crazy to think in this way!
Congrats, Brittnei! I tandem nursed my 2 for the first 5 months, and I think it helped with the sibling bond. I like your approach to blogging about your pregnancy – I like reading more personal posts than just a weekly list of symptoms.
Thank you so much, Olivia! I hear that tandem nursing does that quite often so I will be excited to do it for sure. You're a second person who confirmed my ideas about what to write about it all. Thanks for that!
Hey Brittnei, I'm trying to night wean my 21 month old too. She has a cavity, so I'm trying to stop her from nursing all night. I weaned my night time weaned my son a little bit before he turned two also. However, it's a lot harder with my daughter, she loves her milk. Good luck with tandem nursing, I know a lot of moms who have been successful at it.
Aw! She sounds so sweet. Poor thing. I can't imagine having a cavity at such a young age. I've noticed the past 2 nights that my son has started falling asleep when he is tired by just laying down next to me. It makes me smile because it makes me feel like he is sort of getting it. We still have to deal with him up late and crying some because he truly wants to nurse but we take turns holding him and rubbing his back. I'm wondering if him wanting to just lay down next to mama and go to sleep these past few nights is a start to him not needing help going to sleep as much anymore.
I'm sorry for your friends. It's very considerate of you to be thinking of their feelings. I know when I was pregnant with my first, my husband and I felt bad saying anything to his brother and wife because they had been trying longer. But the time we were pregnant with our third and they were still having a tough time, we felt really awful telling our news. They have since adopted two beautiful girls.
Oh my goodness, Michelle! I can only imagine how hard that must have been for them and for you guys in trying to decide when to share the news. I'm so happy for them that they have 2 daughters now though.
I'm sure you know why I saying that! Although it's still a sensitive topic I love reading about JR and the baby on the way!!! I hope the morning sickness gets better as time goes along.
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You're welcome! Everyone's comments are nice, but I was really thinking about my friends. I'm excited to share more in the coming weeks about these 2 so stay tuned!
I did weekly updates, but they were mainly for me to chronicle my pregnancy. I guess that part of blogging was more for myself than for my readers. Plus, I was already 17 weeks when I started my blog, so I was nearly half way done. They were time consuming, but I enjoyed doing them. I always got really good feedback too. I understand your reasoning for not doing many pregnancy posts though and respect it. You have to do what you're most comfortable with during this time. I'm sure when you do decide to update we will all be excited to hear about it. I know I will!
Tenns, I think what you did was great. I write monthly letters to my son and that is really for me to chronicle his life and for me to be able to share that with him when he gets older so I completely understand. As you get to know me, you will see that I am always looking to be different. I guess my desire to be different is fitting for me as a blogger because it's part of my way of finding my own voice and keeping things interesting for my readers. I read something on another blog that really stuck with me one day. It was asking whether or not you want to be a ripple effect, doing something that you've seen others doing or do you want to have a voice in the blogosphere where you are the one that is starting that ripple effect. Typically with pregnancies, I see very similar things so I thought thinking outside of the box since this is my 2nd baby could really be fun.
The more I read your blog, the more touched I am by your heart. After losing Alex, I waited until 5 months to tell anyone for the last two pregnancies. We were told that it was extremely improbable that we would ever have a child born with hypoplastic heart syndrome again, but I had to know for sure… which was at that appointment. I like reading about others babies progress. I will enjoy reading about you either way!
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Oh what a sweet thing to say April. Thank you. I didn't remember to go back and review posts to see what had happened to your baby Alex but now that I'm learning about it, that is just so crazy. You are such a strong family to have survived that. I totally understand you waiting until the 5th month to talk about your pregnancies due to that situation. I do look forward to sharing with you all more as time goes on for sure. Stay tuned.